As student in primary section, I have one vivid memory of a birthday celebration in school. It was one of those boys whose dad was a a huge business success. So this boy gets to distribute a bar of milk chocolate – an entire bar of Cadburys to every single student in class. A bar that I would get to eat only on special occasions like scoring well on my final exams. So coming back to the story. If emojis were available then, my comic animated jaw-drop would be forever imprinted on that bar of chocolate.

As a child from a middle class family, my highest point in life would arrive each year, on my birthday when I would get to wear a new dress and distribute candies in school. Not just to my classmates, but to the entire staff of my school as a perfunctory ritual. Point is, almost every other student, like me came from a middle class background. And the only differentiator among us was being able to afford a milk and chocolate based candy verses a fruity flavour. Only a handful kids came from limited edition families with unlimited money.

But that one act made me feel a discord, a scarcity, an envy and the need to be able to do the exact same thing on my birthday! And all of a sudden, my highest point in life came dwindling down because I had a new benchmark.

As a adult, there are plenty of times I have experienced the exact same emotions of envy each time I compared myself with someone more fortunate. My reactions would always come in stages

Stage 1 – Feel bad for myself.

Stage 2 – Feel all pumped up to do all it takes in order to be able to get into the shoes of my instrument of envy.

It took me years to realise two things:

1. Each time you compare yourself with someone who’s better off, you are going to end up unhappy.
2. Is there a need to compare yourself really? Because what we notice on the outside may not be the whole truth. Also, we are all given different gifts. Why try and be an apple when you were born a pineapple?

Instead I stumbled upon a solution by accident. Each time I come across someone less fortunate, I feel grateful I don’t have to be in their shoes. This is solution works great. But where are you going to go hunting for those that are less fortunate than yourself? Isn’t it a task?

That’s when I came across the concept of a Gratitude jar during one of the silence courses I was participating in. I thought it was a novel concept. I decided to bring it to the dinner table once a week.

Now we have a jar at home, permanently. Every once in a while we go around the table asking each person to list three things they are grateful for, on that day.

P.S. A simple yet powerful solution. One that saves you the trouble of becoming who you aren’t meant to be. One that saves you from comparisons and one that actually helps you count your blessings. Do you practice gratitude?