One the things we always do as parents is WORRY…

Sometimes, children fall sick. Sometimes they don’t perform too well – at school, college, work and at others they are not as happy as we would like them to be.

For a long time, I believed that being worried for your child is a sign of good parenting. Luckily, realisation dawned that with finite energy, one can either worry and drain themselves down, wearing the coveted crown of good parenting and not resolving the problem anyway. Or one could try helping the child grow stronger in mind and body and learn to get over any obstacle that comes their way.

I do not remember my mother or father fussing over our happiness or grades. In fact, I remember feeling upset over perfectly good grades, but those that I scored below my own expectations. My parents always asked me to take a chill pill and not be so bothered about these little things. They were too busy taking care of the family and making sure we grew up well balanced, with good food, education, a fair share of getting shouted at, sibling fights, freedom of thought and plenty of love.

As parents in this generation though, I feel all of us who cannot afford helicopters like the Ambanis, choose to become one ourselves. That’s the worst thing one could do. Yet, it takes courage not to mollycoddle your child, to let them make some bad decisions, to allow them the freedom to analyse their own mistakes and find possible solutions with or without our help as opposed to making decisions for them.

But how do you stop hyperventilating and stop yourself from worrying, nagging or hovering over their heads?

Here are some tried and tested solutions:

1. Understand that your child is an individual and not your toy
2. Have faith whatever is the best for your child is unfolding – even though it may not look great at the moment.
3. Instead of worrying, think positively and bless your child constantly.
4. Provide them the love and support so that they trust you have their best interests at heart.
5. Focus on your own life as opposed to planning every single day for your child and monitoring it closely.

While parenting is made up of plenty of embarrassments and loads of love, there are moments when we feel weak, not good enough or worried. But the one thing that has always worked for me is maintaining the balance – between taking it easing and timely action.

P.S. The biggest struggles I have ever faced are the ones that challenge the belief system I grew up with. Especially, when I know they haven’t served me well. Changing your own default patterns takes awareness, courage and a constant battle with yourself. I am all ears if you have a few tips rolled in your sleeves when it comes to parenting. It is always like cooking the same dish with a new recipe. The results can be pleasantly different.