Did I utter the word exercise by any chance?

The logic of opposites attract may work when it comes to human relationships. But it certainly doesn’t when it comes to non-living things or activities. Have I loved to workout, ever?

That was a rhetorical question, in case you are still awaiting a response. The only sports I have ever indulged in, happens to be one that starts with my mouth and spends a long time in my digestive tract. In the interest of decency, I won’t go down south.

So, ya. Sports and me. Na na.

Back in school, I was always the last one on any race. Even lemon and spoon or needle and thread. Well, any feminists in the room? Want to make some noise about girls competing in a needle and thread race? Go on. Although, the most amusing race I ever participated in was the jalebi (an indian dessert that looks like concentric circles and is dipped in sugar syrup) eating competition. I was about five or six. Like every housing co-operative society, we had some sports fiesta in ours too. One of the games I remember most is jumping to bite into jalebi while my hands were tied behind my back. No prizes for guessing, I did not stand last in that one. Possibly, the organisers saw my motivation and went on to having a karela (bittergourd) eating race from the following year instead.

Life went on. And since I had won the genetic lottery by birth, I spent the first few decades without having to bother about my health or looks. But it is never the calm seas that makes for a seasoned sailor. And so, here we are. We are quick to judge and criticise ourselves the most. Especially, when we do not fit into the so called image we have so painstaking created of ourselves. Until, we reach a stage where the only way to feel good again seems to be exercise.

So last year, I decided to take charge of my health. Not by going on crash diets. But by joining a group in Singapore called Trekkers@Heart. They hike every Saturday of the week, rain or shine. The group is diverse with people of mixed abilities. My only need is to find accountability partners. And I tend to do well in a group setting too. I thought this would be a win-win. It worked, only to an extent. There are Saturdays I missed. There were walks that left me feeling not good enough. I sulked, I fought with the bitter half for being better than me, I even felt mad.

Luckily his prayers were answered soon and I had an epiphany. I won’t tell you what the universe revealed to me that fated evening. But this year, I joined a workout programme with the same group. It has been only a couple of weeks, but I guess, the results are evident. I am incrementing my workouts gradually based on a plan that has been given to me. Saturdays are training days. And the best part is, I am not competing with anybody. I am in no rush to climb a mountain. Or participate in a race. My sole objective is to gain fitness. To work on building stamina, strength, flexibility and endurance. The best reward is the dopamine surge after each workout that makes me feel like a winner, not a loser. Not somebody who is not good enough, but someone who is winning daily.

So I am still at 3-4 times a week for my workouts. My aim – to be able to workout for 40 minutes five times a week. And stop eating in the name of emotions. In short, aim for the right kind or good quality dopamine as opposed to the easily available one laden with calories.

P.S. Sometimes, it is important to be tough on yourself. Especially, when the results are greatly beneficial as opposed to old habits that are make you stagnated. Some of my recent decisions have really helped me feel the way I did twenty years ago. Learning a new skill, making workouts a part of life and spilling the beans via blogging. The result, mood upliftment, return of the youth syndrome and evolving into a more positive person as opposed to blaming it on mid-life crisis, hormonal play or labeling oneself. Game changer, shall we say?