Okay, let me start by admitting I may have taken some time to reflect on the meaning and purpose of life. Growing up, I was always competitive. As a natural side effect, the will to win became second nature. It also meant, losing at something wasn’t a particularly pleasant experience. And although my parents never expected me to bring home laurels and were always happy with me, no matter what, I had the natural drive and urge to excel at everything I did. And I did enjoy some success at plenty of things.

The not-so-good side effect, I started thinking of life as a game. A game where one must achieve consistently. Not achieving meant failure. This game served me well so long as I was single and not answerable to anyone. But come motherhood and I found my life take a sharp turn. A turn that I took of my own free will. But one that taught me my biggest lessons. Personal achievements took a backseat. Priority changed overnight. And soon, I met the self I never knew existed – a balling, disappointed, jittery woman who was looking London but going Tokyo.

But it was motherhood that also taught me the meaning of counting my blessings. It was spending the time with my girls that got me started on writing. It was taking life slow that gave me the time to understand how wrong my understanding of life was. But, make no mistake. All of these realizations were time consuming. Painstaking. Ones that shattered my age old beliefs that I had developed based on easy experiences only.

But the past few years have taught me something shockingly new.

1. Happiness lies within – Whether you have all that you need and want or not, happiness is the most natural state to be in. It is a daily choice.
2. Every experience is a good experience – Trying times come with lessons, only if we are willing to learn. They keep visiting us, until we have learned the desired lesson.
3. Formula to happiness – Having lofty desires and equating their fulfilment to happiness may be leading to unnecessary attachments or clinging. The real formula to being happy is by working on yourself – daily. To focus on giving rather than receiving. And to consistently perform one’s duties and responsibilities and do the right thing on a daily basis. Play your part and leave the results to the universe.

Easier said than done. But here is a dopamine hack. When you try your best to work on yourself consistently while nobody is watching, when nobody is cheering for you and when the monetary rewards are zero, you suddenly receive a kick that is unbeatable. The only pre-condition – you must be hellbent over staying delusional to reach your highest self.

P.S. I still don’t know if life has a purpose. But the meaning of life has gone through a sweeping change in the last two decades. Looking back, I loved the person I was in my youth. And I love the deeper clarity I now have. I am impressed by the changes I have gone through. And I thank all the tough times in life for them. And if I ever forget any of my lessons, nature sends me a reminder.

The wasp from yesterday was back this morning. It started building a new nest. Did it complete its task in a day? I do not know. I don’t have the heart to evict it one more time.