I function at my very best when I am left to fend for myself. I always thrive with zero help or pampering. Sounds ridiculous right? But I have realised this time and again. The first time, I was only 12. I was packed off to a 5-day Karate camp. The camp was in a different town. We travelled by train. More than 100 people. It was on a beach. We lived in a huge bungalow. We were made to work out from 6-8am in the mornings, followed by breakfast, then 10-12pm followed by lunch and from 4-7pm followed by dinner and campfire. Those hours of workout clearly did not match my petite frame back then. But I persevered. I stayed put. I did not faint. I did not cry. I did not give up.

At 23, when you move out of the comfort zone of your parents’ home where you have lived like a princess with zero responsibilities, life can become challenging. Imagine travelling by plane for the very first time in life, without the most important commodity of today – a mobile phone! The story is only getting started. Now imagine alighting in a foreign country only to realise the airline has lost your luggage. Lucky lucky, you still have your handbag with passport and money. You have two choices. Cry because everything was going against you. Or take in good stride, lodge a complaint and find a taxi to the hotel where you are meant to stay. Spoiler alert, you have no mobile phone and hence no GPS. The route is a never ending highway with palm trees on either side. You are sleepy beyond your will and battle every second to stay awake because hey, you are a woman, in a foreign country without any way to cry for help in case of an emergency!

But I made it safely to the hotel. In case you are wondering, my luggage arrived a few hours later to my hotel room. And the rest is history. I not only survived, I thrived. The opportunity to take the risk of moving out on my own more than two decades ago, helped me become the woman I am. Thanks to my parents who were forward thinking, I was one of those rare specimen from the female gender that was allowed to chase her dreams as a single woman. It is that experience that shaped my relationship with myself. I chose to be excited about everything new – new people, new food, a newly found adulthood that was never going to be possible in the comforts of my parental home.

And like Spiderman’s Uncle Ben says, “With great power comes great responsibility”, I felt the same. Back home, the price of making mistakes would be getting scolded or lectured by my parents. Out here in the big bad world, the price of making big mistakes was going to be unforgiving. It was that year that I can claim I grew up. I became aware that I was solely responsible for my happiness, sorrows, highs , lows and safety. It was during those first few months that I realised I had any relationship with myself. As time passed me by, I was happy to become who I am. A person who listens to her heart. Someone who takes the road less taken if that is what makes more sense. And a person who is courageous to accept new challenges. A person who is happy around family and friends. But is equally content with her own company. Someone who loves to find a solution.

Looking back, I thank my parents for being brave enough for letting me take this leap in life. A leap that has made me who I am. A leap that gave me the confidence I am always enough.

P.S. As I see my children grow, I wonder if I will be able to maintain that fine balance between holding on and letting go so that they can find the wind beneath their wings and take flight, experience that bout of confidence that has been so paramount in shaping my life.