One of the most important relationships we share is the one with our friends. We tend to loosely use the word friends. They are people we meet at school, college, work and every other place we engage in.

Over the years I have experienced having one to some to many friends. And their time in my life largely related to my stage of life. As a primary school kid, I had a single best friend for many years.

With teenage, the number grew and those humans became more important that my anything else. At work, I found yet another group. As a newly married couple we made couple friends. As a mother, I made friends with parents of my children’s classmates’ parents.

I have experienced many different forms of friendship. Some close friendships and some fair weather friends. Some seasonal friends that appear during the festive season and some friends who move on. Some friends that are happy to catch up only on lunch and dinner dates and some that love gossip.

But it is only in the past couple of years that I have discovered, there is a big difference between friends and acquaintances. And who you spend your time with and energy on has a big impact on your life and experiences. Because just like doom-scrolling, some people are taking up all the space in your mind that could otherwise be used for your own growth. Like picking up a new hobby, learning an instrument, meditating even.

A podcast recently opened my eyes to the fact that our thoughts and words carry power. The power to create or destroy. Using words to uplift yourself and others is the best way to put them to use. The responsibility to use words wisely lies upon us. This brought me to the thought that choosing my friends wisely is a crucial step. Because don’t we talk to our friends about every topic under the sun? You may come home feeling positive with some and complete drained with another set of people. It is importance to identify what you wish to increase in life.

Last year, I joined a community here. It is called trekkers@heart. It is a health conscious group that hikes every weekend. It has plenty of avoid mountain climbers from amateurs to veterans. My sole purpose of joining was to improve my fitness levels. It is exactly a year this month. And I believe I have found the kind of friends that uplift me. The kind of people with whose support I have been able to improve my fitness, my stamina and see my micro achievements over the months in a positive light.

When I did my first weekend trek with them last year, I found it so tough to walk 11kilometres with some elevation throughout the journey that I kept feeling angry.

Today I did the same trek again after a year. The difference, I paced well, I felt strong and I could complete it with a smiling face. My fellow trekkers commended my progress. They even reminded me of my sour face this time last year. All in good spirits. And they were there for me then. They were there for me today.

I believe we all need people that uplift us. And we must offer to be the ones that uplift others too. Now that’s the kind of ship I would like to always sail on.

P.S. Last night, as I felt stressed about the trail this morning, I chose to alter my attitude. I envisioned myself enjoying the trek and doing it effortlessly. And isn’t that what happened today? A teensy bit of self upliftment is critical. It is what happens inside the grey matter between our ears that determines the quality of our lives. Shall we start by becoming our greatest allies?