Growing up, I saw adults around fussing over an immaculately clean home, putting up the perfect behaviour in front of outsiders and making guests feel welcome when they came over. But I also saw the repercussions of these golden rules that ruled their lives. STRESS!

And that stress would manifest in various ways. Like developing OCD – some of us are so particular, we have a broom and dust pan ready the minute we find even the smallest speck of dust. And this is more true of women compared to men. I am not trying to stereotype here. But this is based on observation. After 10000 hours of repeating the behaviour you can only guess the outcome. We become perfectionists at OCD. Whether it is related to cleaning after yourself, making the bed perfectly or maintaining the house so well, people can’t help but notice your house wins the trophy for being the most desirable one in the neighbourhood, mindless repetition can be more harmful.  And making people feel welcome at your home is general politeness. But raking the family members in by force may not be a great idea.

I was always social. Having people over always perks me up. But my kids are not exactly like me. They take time to open up and are selective. What if I were to stand with a whip in hand, rolling my eyes at them the minute some guest made it inside our main door? What kind of adults would I be raising?

On the whole, managing any event comes with some stress. And that is natural. However, the extent of burden one can create for themselves is indivdual choice.

Now that the festival is a day away, here is a ready reckoner for myself so that I can enjoy the festival rather than act like an event manager:

1. Do the best you can to make the house clean and welcoming for both, the lord and friends who pop over to greet Him. But do not cloud your brain with constant thoughts of dirt lying in this corner or that. Remind yourself, this little dirt here and there will keep your house safe from a reputation of most desired house in the neighbourhood, thus freeing up your mental and physical labour for engagement in activities that bring you joy.
2. Be yourself when your guests arrive. Dress well, but for yourself and for the festive spirit. Dress well so that you feel positive an good about yourself. Wearing clothes and accessories that make you feel good as opposed to those that are trendy and just look good on models is a game changer. When you feel good, you exude that happy energy which automatically draws people and compliments. You do not need to wear the most over the top ethnic clothes or adorn the most professional make-up look that comes across as AI filters. Most certainly, do not dress up for competition. Reserve some compliments for the guests too. Fancy dress was fine until kindergarten. Would you agree?
3. Making guests feel welcome at home is essential. But each one of us has different ways of engaging with people. Forcing every member in the family to do the exact same thing may be so extra. And pushing people out of their comfort zones drastically will definitely make sure they don’t enjoy the celebrations. So will the guests feel welcome? Nudge a bit, push a little and make sure everyone has a good time.
4. The greatest clue lies in maintaining balance – of mind, body, mood, attitude and thoughts. We always have at least two choices. To think positive or negative. While we are all aware of the power of positivity, it is important to make the power of negativity known. If you feel stressed and nervous and thinking about the worst possible incidents, the worst will unfold. That is the power of thoughts. And the converse is obviously true as well. So choose your thoughts wisely. Engage in some light stretches, tell your mind last minute goof ups are normal. We are human. And every family deals with the same things. Focus on everything that goes well, the intention, the effort and the goodness in your heart when you celebrate.
5. Life is all about the choices we make. If you see something around that you do not like, you have the choice to change both your thoughts and actions.

I am looking forward to a festive season filled with prayers, chatter and food. How to you plan to celebrate yours?