Choosing to be yourself always is a tough choice. Especially, when others do not meet your expectations. In every situation you have a choice. To treat the other person the way they treated you or to treat them the way you treat people as you always do. This is deeper and more complicated than you think.

Well, I will elaborate anyway. So, if you have noticed a pattern about people’s interactions with you, and yours with them, you must have some observations.

Do people generally treat you well?

How do you treat people when on your autopilot mode – with humility, love and affection, condescending ways, no hang-ups, the list can get long.

Point is, all of us behave based on patterns that developed during childhood. And while we have all had some good experiences, we have also had some crazy ones. How they impacted us and how frequently were those experiences repeated tend to determine our behaviour towards others. Also, the most dominant experiences and the response to them have become our dominant nature. Isn’t that what we call the sub conscious?

Now things go well as long as you were met with good fate more often than bad. However, if the converse was true, you may keep experiencing bad behaviour from people and giving back similar response too. Only, you do not realise, that interaction and behaviour is a two-way street. If you were constantly bullied as a child, your default responses to others as a grown up may be no different. If you were loved immensely, that is what you will have for others.

Now here comes the catch. Does that mean we do not have the choice to change? We absolutely do. Once again, awareness is the key. And most people become aware when they go through a rough patch. It is never the calm sea that makes for a skilled sailor. Well, coming back, awareness is the starting point. The next step is to understand your true nature. And all of us were born with love and a positive attitude. Point three is to understand that sometimes people may behave badly with us. We have done so too. But bad behaviour can only be a reaction, not a response. No one has the time to plan and behave badly. That is reserved for television soaps only. Finally, behaving well does not mean agreeing to become other people’s doormat. It is important to create a balance and set boundaries and voice out isssues rather than behave badly, have grudges in the heart and hold on to bad episodes.

P.S. All of this takes time, but once you get into the grind, it is more like a game where you want to score the most points. So take people with a pinch of salt, let go and continue to be your authentic self.