Confidence is one commodity that fluctuates with one’s self worth. Or shall we say it is the other way around? We feel confident when we win. Alternatively, it’s easier to win when we are confident. But life is a vicious cycle of the ups and downs in confidence. I have been witness to this all my life. There were times in school when I did really well. And there were times when I did not meet my expectations. There were times when I put in a lot of work, yet faired poorly while friends who seemed to be merrymaking enjoyed good times. Sometimes life felt unfair. But there have been times when I have excelled at certain things without even lifting a finger. Did I ever question that?

After decades of feeling awesome about myself for things I succeeded at and miserable about things I did poorly on, here is what I have realised. Life runs like the ECG graph. It has its ups and downs. We on the other hand are caught up in the ups and downs just like the hedonic treadmill. Some of us spend an entire life time not being able to comprehend, the victories and the losses will come anyway. The highs and the lows will come anyway. The only impact of what we do helps define grounded we are.

When we are naive and do not understand that life has a plan despite all our efforts, we cling to the results and announce them as our winning pride or loser’s misery. But over time comes awareness. The only key to going being the many good and bad times to understand, it is pertinent to remain unshakable. To take both happiness and sorrow, highs and lows, love and betrayal, acceptance and abandonment, all in the same stride. To stop clinging. To experience every single emotion and experience deeply.

Once awareness kicks in, it feels like applying brakes on a car racing in F1. It takes some time for the car to lose speed and come to a halt. So is the case with life. After many lifetimes of engaging in the exact same tomfoolery, do we see light at the end of the tunnel. One that tells us, all the world’s a stage, and we, merely players. This epiphany marks the beginning of a permanence in confidence that we are nothing but a witness to this enigma called life.

P.S. It is difficult to fathom that we are all temporary in nature. That no matter what we do, life will give us the highs and lows. The only thing that can help us maintain calm is the realisation that we are only a witness to this complex yet beautiful phenomenon called life!