A seemingly straightforward question. Hence, the answer must be twisted in order to do justice and elevate the question.
During the good old times when I was a kid, good neighbors always meant extended family. Together in sickness and health. Always keeping a hawkish eye on the family next door. But being just as loving. In fact, some treated the neighbors kids exactly like their own. So a free hand on one’s backside when found mischief-mongering, meant a good neighbor looking out for your family. All the so-called, well-meaning aunties who would evoke wrath in the hearts of horny teenagers caught red-handed making out in lonely corridors actually meant well. The gossip part was uncalled for. But then, what is life without a little drama. Parents those days gave that right to every adult in the neighborhood to treat their kids like their own. There is a reason behind the saying, “it takes a village to raise a child”.
When my father died of a heart attack two decades ago, none of his children were with him. Leave alone home, none of us were in the same city that fateful evening. It was just Mom and Dad. A little after dinner. He felt queasy and threw up. Then he fell to the floor. And he couldn’t be revived. It was the next door neighbors that rushed my father to the hospital. No one knew what had transpired. But the attack was fatal. The point is, they were present and they did everything in their power to help.
Fast forward to this day, and the idea of a good neighbor has taken a 180 degree turn. Now you are a good neighbor as long as you paste a Colgate smile each time you have a face-off with the neighbor. You are an even better neighbor if you don’t smile or make eye contact. In fact, you are the best neighbor if you keep to yourself. Zero communication, no eye contact and absolutely no conversation sought or needed. Every person tries their best to hide behind the three inch gadget that holds the key to their souls – the phone!
From pedestrians to food delivery riders, to the three-year-old sitting on the back seat of the bicycle that ferries him/her home, to the toddler in the stroller glued to some godforsaken animation, the world seems to find more connection online than finding company offline. It is a pity people miss traffic light, aer unaware where they are headed and worse still, die taking a selfie. All this, while ignoring the chance to find their soulmate, just because of their phone. Little wonder then, the neighbor becomes the least important entity.
But here’s the thing. Neighbors are your closest friends or worst enemies depending on your relationship. Unless they are souls that you choose to give a cold shoulder. As humans, what we crave most is connection, acceptance and love. It’s time we rekindled that spark. An old childhood trick of ringing the neighbors doorbell and running away comes to mind. Wouldn’t it be great to take some initiative in this world that seeks friends with benefits but believes in no strings attached? Wouldn’t it be good to invite neighbors over sometime or exchange some goodies once in a while? Maybe, under the pretext of celebration. Wouldn’t it be great to sometimes bother them with loud parties at your place? At least, it will evoke conversation in the form of complaints. That could be a good ice breaker.
A good neighbor is still the one that’s available when need arises. I cannot help but feel grateful for mine who were there when my parents needed us most.
P.S. Life can be strange. You may not have your closest people around when you need them most. But the ones who appear out of nowhere during such trying times are nothing short of angels. They are godsent. They are your neighbors!
Sangeeta Deshpande 
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