It is the week of the term break. An essential activity is going on walks with the girls. Today, I walked barefoot on the perfectly manicured grass around my condo. Next, I walked barefoot on sand in the playground, tried monkey bars and some of the playground equipment at the risk of spoiling the mid-autumn break for kids in the single digit age group. But some days, it is essential to act selfish. The instant side effect – a memory from my childhood popped up.

When I was about 10 or 11, we would play for three to four hours every evening during summer holidays. By the time we would reach home around 8.30pm, we would be soaking in sweat, our bodies radiating heat. Air conditioners were unheard of. Showers were not in fashion either. But most middle class homes like mine came equipped with a fully functional tap, bucket and water heater. On evenings like those, the tap would act as the body double of the shower. Cold running water never failed to work its magic and cool my head. This ritual would be followed by feasting on grapes, then dinner and watching programmes like The World This Week.

As I got back home this evening, I played songs from the 80s and 90s that I listened to, growing up. And memories of me came flooding by. It felt wonderful to meet a young girl from an era gone by. And I have to say, it was wonderful meeting her after ages. The girl with many dreams lingering in her eyes, a spark of ambition and the will to follow her passion. The girl who wasn’t at all girly. The girl who lived in the moment.

There is a reason why we form our best memories during childhood and as teens. Times when life is free from the responsibilities of a self-created world. Responsibilities that arise from a materially affluent lifestyle we desire and more fancy needs we give birth to. But reminiscing a time when nothing else mattered other than playing, eating home cooked meals and enjoying limited edition programmes on TV feels liberating. In many ways, I feel my generation was more fortunate, the world was opening up. Not every kid dreamed of a foreign education. Living with limited means kept us grounded and fueled our dreams to achieve something in life as opposed to entitled children of this era.

P.S. Coming back to the present, I feel like I need to live without titles like mother, daughter, wife, friend and many more. I feel like being that little girl I once was. The one who never thought about herself as belonging to a gender, a  race, a religion, a country, a person or even a family. She was happy being authentic self. Because she had no benchmarks. She did not know how to live life otherwise. I wish to live in my element, once more. I wish to have a new set of dreams, no, not about earning more money but about being able to engage in pursuits of personal interest. To indulge in my ikigai! Sometimes, a trip down memory lane can be a chance encounter that brings unexpected joy from a time gone by; a time period that will never come back but is etched on my soul as the best time of life!

The picture of the day is a picture of me dressed as a star with my bestie dressed as a birdie and her brother dressed as Solomon Grundy for a fancy dress competition at school!